Mary-Elizabeth’s Messages
HOW TO LIVE A GOOD-FEELING LIFE

This is why we want to be, do or have anything:

Because we think we’ll FEEL good, or better, once it happens.

But then we THINK—rather than FEEL—ourselves through life and do nutty stuff like giving more weight to goals that sound good rather than moments that feel that way.

But what’s a good-feeling life if not good-feeling moments strung together?

Along with thinking too much, we’re also not the best at knowing when to play boss:

We try controlling people and outcomes but let them control how we feel, which is risky because it’s rare that everything’s tidy and to our liking.

To live a great-feeling life, be the boss of your moods, emotions and intentions but learn to surrender the rest.

When I learned about spiritual surrender, I wasn’t a fan.

I thought it meant giving up my dreams to do some boring-ass stuff that God wanted.

But here’s what I didn’t get: Our dreams are gifts from God / Life / Higher Intelligence.

Surrender by setting more intentions, lightening your mood and going with the flow, trusting that a great outcome is for sure.

Years back, I’d been unemployed for a while and was feeling sort of numb. I started sobbing one day and blurted, “Please, God, help me to feel excited.”

My tears stopped. I closed my eyes. I sat there.

Feeling calm, my eyes bolted open:

After months of racking my brain, I knew what to write for a website I’d been wanting to make. Feeling excited for the first time in a long time, I ran to my laptop and started working on what turned into five essays (including a cringey version of this one).

Before that day, I couldn’t see how I might feel excited again. But once I gave God the wheel—ready to try almost anything—my numbness lifted and I got some good ideas. The process was swift and painless, and my mood was better for months.

But surrendering my way to surgery wasn’t as easy.

The flow may seem to take you sideways, but it will lead you rightly if you follow your “funny feelings” and heart of hearts.

My uterus was the size of a watermelon because of fibroids.

For over five years, I prayed for a hysterectomy that I couldn’t see how to make happen: I was either uninsured or couldn’t afford weeks off from work to recover without pay.

I’d also been praying for years to catch a glimpse of fun work I could make for myself and to find a nice job to do in tandem. But nothing was clicking.

My sister had urged me to come to Chicago, but I kept struggling in Atlanta until I’d had enough. Though I wanted to stay with my man, I knew that leaving town was for the best—I went to Chicago and wound up as my father’s full-time caregiver.

None of that felt great, but it all felt right.

And in time, feeling right trended up.

Thanks to caregiving…

I was in a state where I could get Medicaid—unlike Georgia—and had a “free” hysterectomy.

I started seeing great prospects for work I could make and jobs I could get.

I became so grateful for my health and time left on earth, which gave me the courage to be truer to myself and the peace to care less about being misunderstood, criticized or disliked.

And the more I lived to my own liking and stopped hiding, the freer I felt.

You can’t live a good-feeling life when holding back, so intend to be free—and feel free—and let life work out the details.

When I hopped on the plane to Chicago, I never imagined that my deepest prayers would be answered. By surrendering, you may not get what you want, but do expect to get what you truly desire or something better.

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